STATUS: 🟢 AVAILABLE NOW
DEADLINE: January 29, 2026, at 11:00 AM
VALUE: ~~~$24.99~~ (100% OFF)
⚡ HelixPedia Verdict
A chaotic, top-down tribute to classic GTA that swaps fast cars for “stolen” horses and subwoofers for medieval bards in a world of historical inaccuracy and pure mayhem.
🔍 Quick-Scan: Is this for you?
- Play this if: You miss the top-down perspective of GTA 1 & 2 and enjoy Monty Python-esque, fourth-wall-breaking humor.
- Skip this if: You prefer serious historical simulations or find “anachronistic” jokes (like bards beatboxing) immersion-breaking.
- Similar to: Grand Theft Auto 2, American Fugitive.
📝 About Rustler (Grand Theft Horse)
Grand Theft Horse: Medieval Mayhem
Forget everything you know about chivalry. In Rustler, you play as “The Guy”—a peasant who isn’t interested in saving the world, but rather in winning the Great Tournament by any means necessary (usually illegal). This is an open-world action game that pays direct homage to the early days of top-down sandbox titles. Instead of high-speed car chases, you’ll be drifting horses around muddy corners, avoiding “Puncicpality” guards with blue and red flashing torches, and causing absolute carnage in a feudal society that is far from historically accurate.
A World of Absurdity and Anachronisms
The genius of Rustler lies in its commitment to the bit. The game world is littered with modern tropes reimagined for the Middle Ages. Need to lose your “wanted” level? Ride your horse into a “Pimp My Horse” station to give it a fresh coat of paint and some new shoes. Want some background music? Hire a bard to follow you on foot; if you don’t like the track he’s playing, a quick punch to his face will make him change the tune. The mission design is equally irreverent, tasking you with everything from “holy” drug deals to launching cows via trebuchets.
Skill-Based Peasant Combat
While the tone is lighthearted, the combat requires a steady hand. You’ll wield swords, spears, crossbows, and even holy hand grenades. The top-down perspective demands tactical positioning—especially when taking on multiple guards or rival knights. You can choose to go in swinging or use the environment to your advantage, such as luring enemies into the path of a stampede. As you progress, you can invest skill points into better stamina, faster horse mounting, or harder-hitting melee attacks to transform “The Guy” from a common thug into a medieval menace.
📊 Technical Intel
| Attribute | Specification |
| Genre | Action / Open World |
| Developer | Jutsu Games |
| Ratings | ESRB: M / PEGI 16 |
| System Strain | 2/5 (Runs smoothly on mid-range laptops) |
| Steam Deck | Playable (Confirmed) |
| Features | Single-player; Full Controller Support; Remote Play on TV; Character Progression; Sandbox Mechanics |
💻 Rustler System Requirements (Minimum)
- OS: Windows 7 (64-bit)
- Processor: Core i5-3570K
- Memory: 8 GB RAM
- Graphics: GTX 780 / Radeon RX 470
- Storage: 5 GB available space
🎁 Claim Your Loot
To add and download Rustler (Grand Theft Horse) into your permanent library:
- Marketplace: Epic Games Store
- Availability: Until January 29, 2026
- Redemption: Permanent Ownership
- HelixPedia Pro-Tip: If you’re being chased by the guards and your horse is tired, look for a “Bard” nearby; hiring them actually provides a slight morale/stamina boost depending on the song, making your escape much easier.*
Disclaimer: HelixPedia strives to provide a curated and high-quality experience. However, as we are not the developers of the featured products, we cannot guarantee performance, hardware compatibility, or a bug-free experience during your gameplay.